That’s not to be rude or anything, it’s just that we met online back in the late ’90s, so needless to say, the internet has changed a lot since then and those sorts of chats just don’t exist anymore.
Instead, I’ll offer you advice: the best way to find someone is to not look for them. No, really.
In an era with matchmaking sites and apps like OKCupid, Tinder, and god knows what else, it seems like people are trying to make finding their perfect mate as simple as finding the right algorithm. That’s not how K and I found each other at all. I’ll give you the dirty truth:
We roleplayed together. A lot. Like, hundreds of hours of deep, dark nerdy stuff before we even got to know each other personally. We played lots of different characters off each other and happened to enjoy our chemistry together enough to eventually start chatting on a personal basis. That led to hours of chatting about everything under the sun and only after years of that, we got romantic, and the rest is officially history.
The moral to that story is that, sometimes, the right person takes a lot of time. It can help to think outside of the usual Dating Box; instead of meeting someone with the intention of a relationship and sussing out all of the detailed personal stuff and interests after the fact, try the whole thing backwards. Go to communities, chatrooms, and group activities that suit your interests, develop a rapport between those people, and make bonds. You could be surprised.*
*(I mean, hell, at the time we met, I swore I would never date anyone in my life, and I was lying about my age and sex online. Neither K or I expected to fall for each other at first, but that’s what happens when you don’t try. A parting piece of trivia for your thoughts.)
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